I was flicking through the channels on the satellite, trying to see if there was anything on that wasn't a repeat of the Trek/CSI/L&O franchises and came across a programme called "Generation Sex", which appeared to be a vox pop/ + celebrity cameo documentary/magazine programme on what the younger generation do for kicks[1].

I caught the tail end of a discussion on juggling multiple (but not simultaneous) partners, then they went into a teaser for the next segment (after the break), which would be about looking into the future of sex. Cut to a preview with some uncaptioned blonde woman giving her opinion on future sex...

"Oh, I don't know. Given that 10 years ago, lap-dancing clubs were illegal, and now they are commonplace. The next thing will be drive-thru blow jobs..."

To which my immediate thought was "Wouldn't the steering wheel get in the way?"

My name is Ian and I am an engineer...

[1] Which I can't imagine is vastly different from my generation, aside, possibly from the slang[2]
[2] I couldn't be bothered to carry on watching, but from a what I learned Googling the show, it is likely I could have found out what "snowballing" was[3] and which D-lister had indulged in it[4].
[3] No, I didn't Google the term. I don't need, or want, to know[5]
[4] As if I cared. I really don't need to know what any celebrity does in bed[6]
[5] No, really. If you know, please don't tell me.
[6] Unless they are doing it to me[7], in which case, so long as I enjoy it, I don't care what it is called, except in so far is would be shorthand for "Hey, I really liked it the other night, when you did that, you know, that thing... with the ... and the ... and the teabag[10]. Could you do it again?[8]"
[7] The chances of any celebrity doing anything in bed with me are extremely remote, unless maybe the descendants of LWT decide to do a remake of Pillow Talk AND I do something remotely noteworthy for me to be interviewed in bed by Emma Freud [9]
[8] Or possibly for "Hell No! It's called what? I didn't know that existed and wish I still didn't."
[9] Which might be no bad thing, I seem to recall she was quite smart and attractive.
[10] I really, really hope I made that bit up. If there is a fetish involving teabags, I would really rather not know[11]
[11] But then, Fetish Quantum Mechanics states that any conceivable fetish which can be invented or conceived already exists on the Internet, and may have been brought into existence simply by a person thinking of it. [12]
[12] And if it now does[13], I apologise for my role in bringing it into existence.
[13] I daren't Google it now[14]
[14] Actually, that could be the next thing after the Googlewhack - trying to find a combination of "unlikely object/substance/person" and "fetish" that doesn't return at least one hit on Google.



June 2012

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